Gareth:
It gives me great pleasure to welcome you all on this very happy occasion. This is no traditional ceremony. Jenny and Mark have invited us all here to be witnesses to their public declaration of commitment and to celebrate with them their marriage. Yesterday, their marriage was made legal at the Register Office here in Cheltenham, but in the broader sense the ceremony here this afternoon will be the wedding.
Mark and Jenny have chosen to have this sort of ceremony today so that they could have full choice over what is said. They will, in every sense of the phrase, say what they mean and mean what they say. They have found it more difficult than they imagined to pull together the right words to express their feelings about each other and towards marriage and have spent many a long hour trawling through web sites and books, compare readings and passages, and talking them through. Through this, they have explored together what marriage means to them and how they might work together to maintain the marriage.
At this point they would to thank you, their friends and family, for the patience and support you have shown throughout their time planning this wedding. A lot of thought has gone into trying to make the day more personal for everyone here today. But this has taken time and energy, and combined with their busy jobs, has led to some fun times and some fraught times. As with any joyful occasion, there have been some sad times too, as they remember friends and in particular family who can not be with us today. They would like to thank you all for your help, understanding and support you have shown.
As we witness their commitment to each other, I ask us all to reflect on what marriage is about:
MP:
A Marriage, By Michael Blumenthal
You are holding up a ceiling
with both arms. It is very heavy,
but you must hold it up, or else
it will fall down on you. Your arms
are tired, terribly tired,
and, as the day goes on, it feels
as if either your arms or the ceiling
will soon collapse.
But then,
unexpectedly,
something wonderful happens:
Someone,
a man or a woman,
walks into the room
and holds their arms up
to the ceiling beside you.
So you finally get
to take down your arms.
You feel the relief of respite,
the blood flowing back
to your fingers and arms.
And when your partner's arms tire,
you hold up your own
to relieve him again.
And it can go on like this
for many years
without the house falling
Gareth:
For Jenny and Mark, marriage is a partnership between equals and friends. It is recognition of love, commitment and respect, whilst at the same time honouring the individual. Each partner in the relationship honours his or her commitment to each other, yet maintains the freedom to explore their individuality.
Jenny and Mark’s relationship began as a friendship based on mutual interests, respect and understanding. Today we are here to celebrate and witness their commitment to each other to preserve and develop their mutual interests, respect and understanding. These sentiments are summed up in Letter by Rainer Maria Rilke:
Colin:
Letters Rainer Maria Rilke
Marriage is in many ways a simplification of life, and it naturally combines the strengths and wills of two young people so that, together, they seem to reach farther into the future than they did before. Above all, marriage is a new task and a new seriousness, - a new demand on the strength and generosity of each partner, and a great new danger for both. The point of marriage is not to create a quick commonality by tearing down all boundaries; on the contrary, a good marriage is one in which each partner appoints the other to be the guardian of their solitude, and thus they show each other the greatest possible trust. A merging of two people is an impossibility, and where it seems to exist, it is a hemming-in, a mutual consent that robs one party or both parties of their fullest freedom and development. But once the realization is accepted that even between the closest people infinite distances exist, a marvelous living side by side can grow up for them, if they succeed in loving the expanse between them, which gives them the possibility of always seeing each other as a whole and before an immense sky.
(Gareth) Catherine will now sing for us
Catherine: Somewhere over the Rainbow
Someone once said they couldn’t imagine Mark and Jenny staying serious long enough to get married. If that person is amongst you today, you might find it interesting to know what music they signed the register to yesterday! Marriage is, in the end, a serious business and Mark and Jenny intend it to be treated so. But they hope to approach it with a sense of humour.
Terri:
MARRIAGE
Marriage is about giving and taking
And forging and forsaking
Kissing and loving and pushing and shoving
Caring and Sharing and screaming and swearing
About being together whatever the weather
About being driven to the end of your tether
About Sweetness and kindness
And wisdom and blindness
It's about being strong when you're feeling quite weak
It's about saying nothing when you're dying to speak
It's about being wrong when you know you are right
It's about giving in, before there's a fight
It's about you two living as cheaply as one
(you can give us a call if you know how that's done!)
Never heeding advice that was always well meant
Never counting the cost until it's all spent
And for you two today it's about to begin
And for all that the two of you had to put in
Some days filled with joy, and some days with sadness
Too late you'll discover that marriage is madness.
Mark and Jenny, I now ask you to make your public commitment to each other. I remind you that marriage is a precious gift; a lifelong dedication to love and a daily challenge to love one another more fully and more freely. I ask you now to state your vows that you have written
Mark:
I ask everyone here to witness that I, MWF, take you, JK, to be my wife. I will love you and look after you. I will try to bring you happiness and laughter throughout your life, whatever our future together may hold.
I promise to remember where I put things when I tidy up so that you do not spend hours looking for them.
I promise to listen occasionally rather than to say ‘yes love’ when in reality I’ve no idea what you’ve just said.
I promise to remember that you are shorter than me when I put up shelves and mirrors so that you do not have to stand on chairs to reach them.
I wish to share my life with you as an equal partner, and I will endeavour to ensure that our friendship continues to develop with every shared experience.
Jenny:
I ask everyone here to witness that I, JK, take you, MWF, to be my husband. I will love you and look after you. I will try to bring you happiness and laughter throughout your life, whatever our future together may hold.
I promise to learn to cook just a little, and tidy up more so I know where I’ve put things myself!
I promise to not blame you for every little thing when I’ve had a bad day at work.
I promise to let you have your quiet times without asking you if you are all right at five minute intervals.
I wish to share my life with you as an equal partner, and I will endeavour to ensure that our friendship continues to develop with every shared experience.
Gareth:
Now we all offer to you, Jenny, and to you, Mark, our heartfelt good wishes. May you have joy and give joy, and make your home a source of strength and happiness.
Jenny and Mark signed the formal register of marriage yesterday but today want to sign something to remember the commitment they have made to each other today. I therefore ask Leanne to bring up the copy of the vows they have made today so that they can sign this.
(signing of the vows)
(Gareth)
Ladies and Gentlemen: Mr and Mrs Faulkner!
Exit:
